Pride

6/12/2023 12:24 pm

Pride – “a feeling of deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from one’s achievements, the achievements of those with whom one is closely associated, or from qualities or possessions that are widely admired.”

As a mother to four grown adults, I am proud of them and all that they do. They are educated, working hard, and accomplishing their goals and dreams.

As a parent, once we raise them and send them out into the world our job is only partly done. We remain as their confidante and friend when they need us.

Our job for the rest of our life is just to be there for those late-night calls, surprise visits, random video calls, and those meme-filled texts that sometimes have to be explained (well, to me anyway).

Since this is Pride Month it has a different meaning for me as a parent.

I grew up not focusing on what others had, how they looked, where they lived, or any things that I would call “superficial.” Instead, I was told to judge others by how they carry themselves, treat others, and whether their words matched their actions.

These are the same ideals that I conveyed to my children. To have kindness, compassion, and care for others but at the same time, be mindful of who you are as a person and your actions. Think thoroughly before acting because you are responsible for any consequences.

In all these talks, guidance, and questions, we never discussed how they felt as a person or how they felt towards others. I knew that as long as they were good people then it did not matter who they chose to love as they got older. The only caveat to that, as they began dating, was to make sure the other person treated them with respect, was kind to them, and was supportive of their own life goals.

My children will always be my babies no matter how old they, or I, get. It is about being a family first and loving each other through everything that life throws at us.

I raised them this way because I wanted to ensure that all the toxicity, hatred, racism, bias, and negativity that I grew up with stopped when I became a mother. When I started my family line, I wanted this branch to grow more strongly and successfully. We are slowly moving in that direction.

I am the mother to four vastly different human beings, gay, lesbian, bi (this may be changing), and straight. When my children came out to me, at first they were nervous to tell me, but they soon realized, I already knew. I was just waiting for them. They felt relieved and were surprised that I was such an open person to them. Why wouldn’t I? I may not understand completely but they are my kids and that will never change. I will always be here and their home is wherever I am in the world.

At the beginning of this writing, I wrote the definition of pride, and the reasoning is that nowhere in our definition of our existence as human beings does it state something different based on who we are. Pride is pride.

We all should be proud of ourselves and feel comfortable with who we are. If you don’t feel comfortable around others and who they are, then don’t hang around them, pretty simple.

We are human beings and we will never truly get along or agree with one another but that’s okay. No one told us we had to. As people, we should show the same respect, courtesy, and consideration that we want for ourselves. That basic notion has been lost over the years and we should work hard to get it back, otherwise, what is the point of our existence? Humanity should never be taken for granted.

I know others will argue about politics, belief systems, and socioeconomic differences but love is love. That is the part of us that will always be there and it does not change from the time we are born until our last breath.

I have gone off on a tangent, time to change direction because I could write for hours about what I think about life and people.

The idea behind this writing was twofold, one about my children, and the second about this month in particular as a supporter of human beings.

In my peer art therapy group, we were tasked a few months ago to make posters for the VA’s (U.S. Department of Veteran Affairs) float for the Pride parade this month.

Last year, we were tasked with the same project.

In that previous group I was in, one particular person got upset with me over what I was painting and working on. I was following the guidelines we were given and I was one of two people working on that part of the overall project. That person was working on a different part.

That particular person and I never really got along with one another. In those moments when we were working on the project, I got injured because of these differences. I was bending down to get paint out of our bottom cabinets and this person came up behind me, opened the cabinet door above me, and left it open. I stood up and smacked the top of my head. I saw stars for a moment and it caused a big knot on the top of my head.

A person in the group saw what happened and told our peer art counselor. The counselor pulled the person aside and out into the hallway to talk. The person in question came back mad, stopped working on their project, and left early. This year, I am in a new group, a co-ed group, and we were given free rein to draw whatever we wanted.

I thought about it for over a month about what I wanted to do, in order to convey my support.

I did what I always do before starting a project, research.

I checked out a few websites:

https://www.dosomething.org/us/articles/11-facts-about-pride-and-the-lgbtqia-movement

https://www.tripridetn.org/pride-flags/

https://www.glad.org/

I learned a lot more about the movement for equality and about the people behind it. I learned why the first Pride parade began.

In this delve into information, at the forefront of these thoughts were my kids, and how I just want them to be happy, healthy, and well. My daily thoughts are always that they are safe and protected.

I know that every day, out there in the world, there are people still fighting to be heard, fighting oppression, and there are still people working to push their agendas on everyone else.

“We are all human” that was the idea and thought behind my project.

I first did a rough sketch of what I thought about doing and how I wanted it to be portrayed.

I did more research about the symbols of the movement, what the LGBTQIA+ acronym meant, and when they first were developed. I started focusing on the different flags. I did not know there were so many different variations. I had only ever thought about the rainbow flag when it comes to being a supporter. I even found out there is a flag for being a supporter. I had no idea about that one.

I found it humorous, I am a parent to gay children, and I was having to look up information because I never really focused on the issues unless my kids brought it up. I also wanted to keep my project concealed until it was completed. My youngest son who lives with me was the only one to know what I was doing. I asked for his opinion as an artist. He told me what he thought and I made some adjustments.

I worked on this on and off in between my classwork and other appointments. Finally, I started to focus fully and worked on it for two full days from early morning to early morning. It was a lot of work and the biggest project that I have ever completed.

I first fined-tuned my original sketch.

Then I began the process of transferring the drawing onto the poster board. I struggled slightly due to the hand and my fingers not cooperating but pushed through it. I watched a lot of reruns, drank a lot of coffee, and listened to music while I worked.

Then the process of painting began. My son saw my work and jokingly said to me “You always have to be extra, that must be where we get it from.” I thought that was funny because I never think about that when I am doing something creative. I just have this picture in my mind of what I want to do and just try the best that I can to create it.

I continued and painted the flags that were chosen.

The finishing touches were added with the words written and outlining parts of the drawings.

It is finally completed and has been the biggest painting project that I have done. I enjoyed it very much. Now, I have to take it to my group this week and turn it in. I have shared the picture with my kids and soon will post it to my social media.