Time – What is it worth?

9/18/2023

11:43 PM

It has been a couple of weeks since I last wrote.

My days, at the moment, are consumed by this training course I am enrolled in. It is a Bookkeeping and Accounting course and every day has been filled with homework.

Thankfully, it is an online course so I make out my schedule for the week and the rest of the days are taken up by doctor’s appointments, group therapy, and now physical therapy. All this and any other places that my son needs to be or just running errands.

I am in the last class for this course and it is Managerial Accounting, a very time-intensive subject. I remember taking this class as a sophomore in college and it was not my favorite. I struggled with it back then but this time around, it seems easier and also makes more sense.

I have enjoyed doing the calculations and figuring out how it all fits together.

In one of the chapters this past week there was a small section discussing time as a factor for calculating the costs of production. This information made me ponder and there was some introspection on my part about the one thing we can never replace, time.

I believe I have written about this subject before but most likely on a general time management or home organization type of writing.

The time I am talking about is how we spend our days.

I remember reading several summers ago this book called “168 Hours: You Have More Time Than You Think” by Laura Vanderkam. It was this notion that we all have the same amount of time every week and the difference is how we spend it.

It stated the first thing to do is to break it down into where it spent such as a 40-hour work week, sleeping 8 hours a day, working out 30 minutes a day, etc. Do this until you get down to the last remaining hours of “free time”. This free time is to be spent on fulfilling your goals and dreams but most end up wasting it.

Back then, I did a breakdown of my weekly schedule and realized that I had approximately 21 hours a week being wasted on television, movies, my phone, and video games. These time wasters were stifling my creativity and the desire I had to start my own business. I also realized that these were also affected by my depression and there were days of no motivation. I needed to make a change.

I revamped my schedule by trying to stick with a sleeping and waking time. Then I added in those blocks of time dedicated to being creative. I also got rid of watching television during the week and only watched on the weekends. I began incorporating more reading into my week. It began helping to lessen the anxiety and depression. I was sleeping a little better and felt good overall.

I know that it works but in my case the “stick to it” part of me falters most of the time. As I read more about the issue of managing time and staying on task the words “Executive dysfunction” came up.

Executive dysfunction – “a behavioral symptom that disrupts a person’s ability to manage their thoughts, emotions and actions”.

I realized that it could be a part of the problem but I have yet to ask to be diagnosed with any possible cognitive disorders. Mainly because I know that major depressive disorder and anxiety from trauma can also be an underlying cause as well. I was diagnosed with both over 10 years ago.

Instead, I read more about how to combat some of these issues.

One is setting reminders and alarms which helps me stay on task. Then there is both my digital calendar with alarms one to two days ahead so I do not forget about them and my physical whiteboard calendar which is updated monthly. The last thing is just remembering that I will not always be able to get everything accomplished and I am okay with that.

I would much rather cancel or reschedule an appointment if it means helping or being there for my family. No amount of time is wasted when it comes to them. They are everything to me.

I also use these canceled appointments as moments to work on things that are important to me because sometimes a creative spark is ignited and the focus is to get it accomplished.

In the assignments this past week, the question was posed “How much is time worth?”.

That is a very good question because we all can either equate time with earning a living or just living life.

In my case, time is the most valuable asset that I have, and I do not want to waste it on anything that is not helping me live a stable and secure life.

I am well passed the age of being frivolous or just too carefree. I can look back on my memories and remember all those moments of not having a care in the world. Those days of not being so preoccupied with how I was spending my days. I still had the undiagnosed depression and anxiety but the loudness of it was drowned out by just being overly active. That was my self-developed coping mechanism.

Now that I have become more aware of my triggers and have faced the trauma, it has become a little more freeing, mentally.

Time, we all have the same amount daily but the value we place on it is different between individuals.

The value to me is in what I can accomplish in those moments not only for myself but my family as well and whether it is providing anything to the future. Is it making an impact?

This idea of making an impact is why I have struggled with “Finding myself”. There continue to be days that I struggle to make each day purposeful in some way. I also recognize that the days when nothing gets done are okay too. Sometimes taking things slow is what is needed in those moments. This helps to regroup the thoughts and refocus on the task at hand.

This quote “If you spend too much time thinking about a thing, you’ll never get it done.”— Bruce Lee, sums up how thinking instead of doing is probably the biggest time waster most of us do. A plan is just a plan until you act on it. Hopes and Dreams are just unrealized plans that we did not act upon.

It was when I finally realized that I had been in control of my life this whole time that I recognized the value of time. This fear of making mistakes or taking the wrong path was emphasized too much in my thinking and it was holding me back. It was the constant time wasters that were keeping me from taking the steps I needed towards a better life.

I still have those moments when the endless scrolling on my phone is just a way of not doing tasks that need to be done. Yet, if I had just done the task, it would not have taken that much time. It becomes this endless cycle.

As I continue moving forward with my plans, time is becoming more valuable every day. I try to stay on task and get things accomplished so I can work on the creative aspects of my life. I also want to make sure that if I get a phone call or text from my family, the focus is on them, in those moments. That we continue to share each other’s lives and continue building those memories.

The question I posed earlier “What is time worth?” is a hard one to answer. It depends on what we value the most. Some value the material aspects of life, always wanting the latest and greatest. Some want to make life easier or better for others so they spend their time in the service of others. Lastly, some just go with the flow of life and do not dwell on time. They just exist in it.

All of these are neither wrong nor right, they are just how we move in those moments. We make our own decisions about the life we live.

For myself, time is spent working towards not only a more stable and secure environment but also fulfilling the goals that I set a long time ago for myself. If I happen to help others along the way, then that is even better.

I also see that time is just a marker of a moment in our life. When we remember and look back at our lives, we don’t think about how much time was spent on doing things. Instead, we see those points of change that moved us in a different direction or to a different path.

As I continue to adjust and readjust my weekly schedule, I will probably go back and break down my days into blocks of time again and set some new goals.

I will continue to be purposeful in my actions, thoughts, and words every day.

To remember how far I have come and remember the good moments.

To go to sleep at night, knowing that I did the best that I could.

Thank you so much for stopping by.

Have a fabulous week!

Peace, love, happiness, and good vibes, always!

Suzanne