Failure or Success – Perception

Failure or Success – Perception

12/3/2024

8:04 am

Failure – “a lack of success in doing or achieving something, especially about a particular activity.”

I saw this post today and it reminded me of how I felt when my marriage ended and when I retired from my military career.

At that time, I was not ready for the change in direction my life was taking. I desperately wanted to continue on the path I was on.

At that moment I thought that I had failed.

In reality, I had successfully achieved the goals I had set for my life.

The issue was that I could not see it that way. I was too focused on the hurt and pain that I felt, and I was afraid of change.

Fast forward 11 years later, after much therapy and counseling, I can finally see that it was not a failure, it was just an opportunity for something new.

The Universe was moving me in a better direction and the life I lived before had to end. It was a needed change not only for me but for my children as well.

We are in a much better place now, there was much growth to come and live through. I think we have done well so far and keep pushing forward.

To achieve anything, you have to do the work, focus on the task at hand, and see the end goal.

There are no shortcuts and each perceived failure is an opportunity to fill in any gaps to build a more solid foundation. The foundation of any goal has to be able to withstand anything and should be built with not only perseverance but also good intentions.

It took me a long time to see that when I filed for the divorce it was self-preservation. The relationship had been nonexistent for a long time.  We did not love each other and only tolerated one another.  We were not even friends at that point.  We were just two people living in the same house.  He no longer cared or tried and I was tired of trying to make things work and keep the peace.

As for my military career, I had set out to achieve the goal of retirement and I accomplished that. The notion of staying in longer was not going to work. There were too many “politics” in play and I was no longer willing to play the game. My ideals and way of working did not mesh well with others and their plans. It was time to let it go and move forward to something new.

This is when our emotional thinking sometimes clouds our judgment, trying to hold on, when we know it’s time to let go. Trying to hold onto something that is no longer growing or worth our efforts.

That is our perception of failure.

Yet, by definition failure is just something that was not successful. This is not a negative thing; it was just not the right plan or path for us to take or follow.

The only way to grow is to fall many times, keep getting up, and finally, get the hang of it. Then we have experience in what not to do, what we do not need, or what does not work.

Failure is not a bad thing; it is the self-perception that makes it difficult to face.

It may take a while before we feel sure again but it will eventually happen. Life is not meant to be easy and in life, there are no guarantees.

The focus should be, when things do not work out, to question whether it blends well with our values and belief system or not.

The things we pursue do not necessarily fit into our ideals and sometimes we try to force them where they do not belong.

We try to convince ourselves that “it was meant to be”.  In reality, it was just a momentary side path, which was meant to teach us something about ourselves.  A life lesson.  

I have always been competitive by nature but I also learned to accept the fact that we do not always win. 

The point of trying is to build ourselves up, gain insight, and remember the experience for later.  This is how we grow as a person, emotionally, spiritually, intellectually, and sometimes physically.  

To try our best and be a good sport if we do not win or “succeed”.  To have a reason to try again.

If we take the time to reflect on our life to this point, we may see where we are now, it is much better than where we were. 

That the struggle we went through was worth it.

That any small win kept us motivated while any loss just pushed us harder.

Thank you so much for stopping by.

Happy Holidays and Seasons Greetings!

Peace, love, happiness, and good vibes, always!

Suzanne