3/21/2025
12:48 pm
It is a Friday afternoon.
My son is off of work today and I just finished having lunch. Our days are rather quiet in the house, neither of us make that much noise.
He is in his room doing whatever it is he likes to do and I am in mine.
I have time now after being completely retired from work this past January, the one thing I always felt I never had enough of. I wanted to have the freedom to spend my days being creative and I have been doing that but there is still something missing.
Finding a sense of peace is what I still pursue. My soul still seeks closure to the wounds from those that hurt me so long ago. I stop, close my eyes, take in deep breaths, and try to find my center when those thoughts or feeling arise.
I play the same scene in my head when I am trying to ground myself.
I see a bright blue sky as far as the eye can see. The sun overhead and puffy white clouds floating by.
On that horizon a thunderstorm is forming, I can see the towering cumulus building up. Meeting that horizon is bright blue water. Clear and inviting.
I am walking on a sandy white beach and I look down at the hand I am holding. I can feel the sand between my toes with each step. I hear the water lapping at the shore. I see the ebb and flow as it moves along the edge. I can feel the splashes of water on my legs every now and then.
I see palm trees swaying in the wind ahead of us as the salty breeze comes off the water. I can feel it go across my skin, I can feel it blow through my hair, and taste it on my lips.
I feel the heat from the sunshine on my shoulders mixed in with the coolness of the breeze.
It is serene, calm, beautiful, and peaceful.
This is the sense of peace that I desire. Free from the hurts of the past.
This scene that I play over and over has been developed through my meditation therapy group over the last few years. It has helped bring down my blood pressure in those moments of high anxiety. It has helped with the chaotic thoughts that cause the anxiety. It is my spiritual touchstone to keep me anchored.
This is what I strive to work into my daily routine more through meditation practice. It is still a work in progress.
In the interim, I write. On this blog, in a journal, sometimes on random pieces of paper or a sticky note. Just to get the thoughts out of the way.
It is those small incremental moments of time that will eventually become a habit. A good habit to bring a sense of peace and calm. One day it will just be automatic and I will not have to overthink it.
Until then, I continue to seek out and find that sense of peace, remembering that my thoughts, feeling, and emotions are valid. That I write my story and no one else.
Thank you so much for stopping by.
Have a wonderful week!
Peace, love, happiness, and good vibes, always!
Suzanne
love to bake 