Resolution or Resolve

12/1/2023

10:32 pm

It is a Friday night.

After watching television reruns for hours on end, I finally stopped.

The anxiety and feelings of impatience have quieted down.

I was lost in my thoughts most of the evening.

I decided to make some changes in how I approach my self-care and well-being a few weeks ago.

I started walking again and watched what I was eating. I have lost five pounds so far and was off to a good start.

This week, I have struggled to make those daily walks. It rained most of today and was cloudy. This became just another excuse to not do it. It has been 3 days since my last timed walk. I am just not motivated.

I thought it was just anxiety at first, but it is more than that, it is my thinking.

I go through this at the end of every year. I plan to start exercising, watching what I eat, and attempting to lose weight. The idea is that if I start before the end of the year, I will still stick to it into the new year. I set my birthday as the goal date.

I am sometimes successful but then there are times when I am not. Overall, I am not successful at it because there would be no need to continually restart. It would be a habit by now.

Resolution – “a firm decision to do or not to do something.”

Resolve – “to decide firmly on a course of action.”

I used to believe these two words meant the same thing until I looked up the definition.

Most of us make resolutions going into the new year. A plan to do something or make changes. Yet, a resolution is a decision “to do or not to do.” The only reason to use this word is just in case we do not accomplish what we thought we were going to do.

We choose our daily life whether it involves action or not. We decide where our path is going, or we stand still.

Then there are others out there that resolve to accomplish the goal through planning and acting upon it. To stick to that path and new direction. To meet or exceed those goals, aspirations, dreams, and hopes for the future.

I used to be the second version.

Every year, I would write down not a list but tasks and a plan for the year. It had steps to accomplish each task and they all related to the bigger goal overall. I used to be good at this. I have not approached my goals in this way since I retired from the military over 10 years ago.

I just never correlated that set of skills to what I wanted personally after retirement. It was always about doing the job I was trained to do and raising my family, but I never thought about what I wanted. Those self-thoughts were always put on the back burner.

The only way to accomplish the goals requires some sort of priority or order of importance.

I have several categories that I work on and these need to be the main goal list.

My goals:

Relationships
Health and Well-being.
Financial stability
Degree completion.
Start a business.
Retire, retire.
Travel.

Looking at my list, health and well-being are on there, but other things have priority over them. This could be why I struggle with accomplishing these goals.

I now have to think about each category and determine what needs to be included and how to accomplish it.

Take, for instance, relationships. I write a lot about this subject whether it is family, friends, or romantic relationships. The goal is and always has been developing long-term relationships.

I have had many people come and go throughout my lifetime. It would be nice to have that “one.” That person that I can talk to about anything. That person who is not afraid to tell me bluntly when I do something wrong or need some advice or guidance.

I have never been afraid to be wrong about things, I make mistakes like anyone else, it is how we grow as a person. The issue is others do not want to hurt my feelings or upset me. It is irritating sometimes to feel like I am being treated as this delicate person who needs to be protected all the time.

As much as I appreciate the kindness and care I am being shown, how am I supposed to develop these long-term relationships if I continually make mistakes or am unaware of things that I may be doing wrong? There is a difference between being tactful, diplomatic, and to the point. I am not good at reading minds or taking hints and I am terrible at assumptions. I need it to be straight to the point.

Health and Well-being is the next category. I have always struggled with this.

My well-being hinges on my depression and anxiety but not always. I have had more good days than bad over the last seven years. This only occurred after the last hospitalization. It put a lot of perspective on who I wanted to be as a person. I also made a promise to my family to move away from those deep thoughts of no hope and despair. It was a long hard road to get to this point.

***12/21/2023 – Continuation

Life happens and I get sidetracked sometimes. I finally came back to this writing to finish it up.

The next thing on the list is financial stability. After being unemployed for the last three years due to an injury. The subsequent struggle to recovery or lack of progress has impacted my finances. The only redeeming feature was being put on VA Disability for unrelated medical issues. It is not much but does keep the rent and a few small bills paid. The only issue is not being able to put aside any sort of savings due to the financial strain.

To change this outlook, I enrolled in a course to gain some additional skills to pad my resume. The second goal in the program I am enrolled in is to finish the college degree. Unfortunately, due to unforeseen circumstances related to additional bills and car repairs, I did not have the funds. I could not pay off the past due balance and that particular goal is now on hold. To become financially stable is still a work in progress.

This also affects goal numbers 4 to 7 without the financial stability or ability to build a savings plan those goals are on hold as well. The only positive outcome is that I will receive a pension, but it will not occur until I turn sixty. I still have seven more years to go.

These categories and the thoughts about what affects accomplishing them are the basis of any plan I make moving forward. Defining what you want, needs to have a plan or a step-by-step list of how to accomplish it. Next would be determining how long it will take and allowing for flexibility if something needs to be changed or does not work out.

This is how I used to work towards my goals for many years. It kept me on track and physically writing it down became a daily reminder of what I was trying to accomplish.

Time management is the one thing that is needed to ensure that the goal is worked on little by little every day.

It is better to work on the goals at a slow and steady pace.

Well, now that I have worked through my thoughts, it is time to finish this writing.

Goals are important and it does not matter if they are big or small.

It is about the satisfaction received when something works out or is accomplished.

It is that sense of pride and resolving the issues for the long term.

Thank you for stopping by.

Have a wonderful week!

Peace, love, happiness, and good vibes, always.

Suzanne