In my past life…

In my past life…

January 25, 2023

11:12 am

It has been a snowy and rainy couple of days here in my state.  Winter is still ongoing but it has been mild compared to previous years.  Still have a couple of more months left in the season and I have seen snow hit us as late as March before.

As I was feeding my cats and waiting for my coffee to get done this morning, I stood there scrolling through Instagram.  I saw a post by a chef/cake artist that I follow, so I posted a comment. I have seen his creativity and reputation grow over the last few years.  I cheer on his successes whenever I get a chance.  I got the privilege of meeting him at a cake competition.  He is such a nice person and has a great personality.

I was looking through his posts and I remembered some of the other cake artists, sugar artists, chefs, and cake decorators that I met through that same show.  It was a very exciting time for me and I was so full of ideas, creativity, and just overall happiness.  Cake decorating, teaching, and competing helped me through some of my darkest moments over the last 9 years. It kept me positive, and motivated, keeping me moving forward.  Hence the reason I say these things quite often.

I went through and followed quite a few of their accounts again.  I had moved away from looking at this artistry after my surgery.  It was becoming a melancholy thought to me since I could not use my hand and arm.  I felt like that part of my creative being was gone.  I did not want to be reminded of it.

A few minutes later, one of the accounts requested to follow me back.  To say I was a little excited is an understatement.  It was an account of someone well-known in the cake decorating and sugar art world, she has many accomplishments and also is sometimes a judge at competitions.  I was thrilled, to say the least.  That pepped up my day tremendously.  I think I double-checked several times to make sure it was her account and not a scammer trying to mess with me.  No, it was her account. I am still stoked.

That brief moment of joy reminded me that I forget about that part of my life and I should not. It has been a big part of my creativity and recovery process.

This blog started as a cake-decorating blog.  If you go back to my earliest days when I started in 2016, you will find nothing but cake-decorating, baking, and sugar art-related articles.  I eventually moved them over to my second blog Love to bake too.  I have not posted there in a while.  This article and a couple of more ideas that I have at the moment will be posted there too.

In my past life, I was a hobbyist cake decorator that sold a few cakes. I was the family cake lady.  I was a successful Wilton Method Instructor and taught others the basic skills of decorating cakes.  Then I joined others in competing in cake decorating and sugar art competitions.  I did them in person and also online.  I even had one of my creations in a cake-decorating magazine once.  I met some of the best and the brightest of this art form. I took their classes and learned from them.  It was an exciting time for me.

After my surgery in May of 2020, I was told by the ortho doc that I would only be down for maybe 8 weeks and then would be good as new.  It has been over two years coming up to three in a few months. I can no longer do the same things as before.  I struggle with using my hand. My dexterity and mobility are still limited and I developed a tremor.  No, I am not the same or good as new.  I have written many times here about how that made me feel.

Today, a small moment of excitement made me forget those thoughts.  I remembered the good things that I used to do and my creativity.

In an even weirder coincidence, on the photo app and my google drive, these memories came up today.  It was pictures of some of my work and things related to when I was a cake decorating instructor.

The universe is reminding me that I still have that creative ability in me, somewhere.

Will I be able to create a 3 tiered wedding cakes or large novelty cakes again? 

No, probably not.  It was a lot of hard work and many hours plus it was a lot of heavy work. 

Will I ever bake and decorate for family and friends again? 

I have done a few small things over the last year.  They were not over the top but simple things that I could still do and I had so much fun creating them.

Will I ever compete again? 

I have thought long and hard about that one.  I do not know.  I am essentially starting over again, like a brand-new cake decorator.  I will have to develop my skills over again and learn how to adapt.  It won’t be easy, I will get frustrated, but I can never give up.  It was the one thing that I wanted most. Most of all, it will take time.  I have to be willing to invest in it again. I have the tools and the knowledge but my hands are the issue.  The skills can be relearned.

All of these thoughts bubbling in my mind at the moment. 

I went through and looked at my pictures again.  I looked at the people I met.  I looked at my competition pieces and then stared at my two ribbons.  The only two competition reminders that I did good work and I was rewarded for them.  That at one point, others saw my creativity and said that it was good. I have to remember that, and never give up. 

I also looked at my certificates and accolades as an instructor which remind me that I had my own successful side business and managed 4 store locations, by myself.  I promoted, demonstrated, made displays, and produced sales. I created a website and maintained it as another tool for that business.  I did that while also continuing with my military career and raising 4 kids. 

That creative part of me is still there, it has just been covered up by my wallowing in self-pity.  I thought that I had lost that part of me, forever. 

It is still there and not just in my past life.

Maybe it is time to bring it forward again, slowly.

Baby steps. We all have to learn how to roll over, sit up, stand up, balance, and walk first before we run.

Thank you so much for stopping by.

Have a wonderful week!

Peace, love, happiness, and good vibes, always!

Suzanne