Random Musings, Well being

Still not sleeping – Insomnia strikes again

Still not sleeping.

March 15, 2023

3:55 am

It is an early Wednesday morning.

I still have not gone to sleep.  I am wide awake and only slightly tired. I have to be up by 6 am to take my son to work.  It doesn’t look like I am getting any sleep today.

I am not even sure why I cannot fall asleep.

As I sit here in the dark, typing on my laptop, and listening to drone of the fans, my thoughts turn to why am I not sleeping today?

I go through the usual checklist of things that cause anxiety:

  • Finances and Bills?  No, everything is either caught up or on a payment plan. We have money for food and gas.  That’s not it.
  • The kids? No, they are all still doing their thing.  Working, going to school, and spending time doing the things they like to do.  That’s not it.
  • The relationship? No, everything is still moving along and going well. We are still madly in love and infatuated with one another. We have had a few moments where there was miscommunication, but we’ve worked it out.  We talk almost every day, and it has been this way since the beginning.  That’s not it.
  • Is it the new school I started in February? No, I just completed the first course and started the Financial accounting portion this past Monday.  I am enjoying having a set schedule of things to do. I am enjoying learning something new.
  • Is it my ongoing health issues? Maybe.  I am now having almost daily pain in my knee and hip. It has woken me up from sleep. I know they previously told me that I have osteoarthritis in my foot due to an old fracture from basic military training.  I also apparently have bone spurs in my knee. The hip pain could be because I have been sleeping on my left side only for 3 years now. I try laying on my back, but it bothers my shoulder, sometimes.  I have not brought this up with my primary provider yet. Mainly because I am worried about the outcome.  I do not want another surgery to be performed.  I already have a messed-up hand, arm, and shoulder. I do not need a messed-up leg too.  I just keep taking the 800 mg ibuprofen they prescribed, I just got a new refill.  It helps somewhat with the pain but there is still a dull constant ache in both the arm and leg.

I know that I have a lot of random thoughts but the daily routine I established 2 months ago of meditation, stretching, prayers, and affirmations have quieted them down a lot over the last couple of months.  Even as I sit here now, there is no distraction or mind wandering.

I am just awake and not tired yet.  The one thing that I have tried to work on, fixing my sleep schedule.  I still don’t have a set time to go to sleep but I was doing so well the past couple of weeks.

I was able to just lay down and be asleep within a few minutes then I was out like a light.  Today, my mind and body decided that I should just be awake. 

I tried doing some deep breathing, but it did not make me sleepy, and I was already relaxed.

Maybe that is the issue, I am relaxed and not worried about anything. I do not have any major issues for the first time in quite a while.  My mind has been on high alert for too long and does not know how to react.

I will finish up this writing and try to go to sleep again.

Have a wonderful week!

Peace, love, happiness, and good vibes, always.



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