Random Musings, thousand words or less, Well being

Blah moment – What is this?

Blah moment – Is it depression or something else?


11:24 pm

It was a rough day, mentally.

I slept on and off all day today.  Unmotivated and just feeling down.

I barely ate anything and watched television most of the day when I wasn’t sleeping.

Is it depression or something else?

I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder in 2015.  I knew that I had some depression and anxiety most of my life but I never took time to talk to anybody about it.  I pushed it down with an overbooked schedule and taking care of my kid’s needs.   It was my excuse for not dealing with it.

I know that sometimes the weather can affect my mood and it has been raining for two days now.  I do not believe that is what is causing this moment of blah.  That is what I call it when I just cannot peg the reason for how I feel.  It happens sometimes and I just have to go with the flow until it passes.

I used to worry about these moments because I thought that I was beginning to spiral downward but realized that it is not the same.  This feeling of being demotivated happens when I am trying to start something new.  

Today is day four of tracking what I am eating and monitoring my blood sugar levels.  It is that doubt that is creeping into my thoughts.  That voice in my head telling me “What’s the point?”  I have been here numerous times before.  I will push past it like I always do.

I was supposed to start back on my morning routine yesterday but it did not happen.  I did not even start today either. 

My room has looked like this all day.

I know that I will eventually get out of this down state and things will start moving again.  All I can do is ask those around me for a little understanding and patience as I deal with it.

I assume others are tired of me apologizing for the way I feel but then I remembered, never apologize for your thoughts, feeling, or emotions.  Those things are important and should be said otherwise how will others know what you are going through? It is those that truly care about and love you who will understand.  They will tell you “It’s going to be okay”.

As I finish writing this short piece, I remember that tomorrow is a new day to start over again.

It is okay to have those blah moments every once and a while.  It is your body and mind telling you to rest or slow down. That is when we should listen to what is trying to tell us.

I just have to remember that it is just one day.

Thank you so much for stopping by.

Have a great week!

Stay purposeful in your thoughts and actions.

Peace, love, happiness, and good vibes, always.



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