01/01/2025
10:10 am
Good morning to you my awesome visitor!
I wish you a year of peace, kindness, achievement, good vibes, and prosperity.
This is my first post of the new year. Day 1 of 365. It is my 430th post written but the 383rd to be published. I have removed quite a few posts over the years.
If you have followed my blog for a while or even if you are new, I have always been rather outspoken about my ideals, notions, and daily life while writing here. I am a believer in having faith in the goodness of human beings even with all the crap underneath that we carry around.
In this belief, I have seen firsthand the consequences of not being fully truthful. I am as honest as possible especially when asked for my opinion. Sometimes my honesty can come across as brutal or even harsh.
It is in those moments when the true nature of an individual is on full display. In my experience, most do not want to know the truth. Once the truth comes out it requires action on their part to change how they carry themselves. To own up to their misunderstandings, mistakes, or shortcomings. It can become overly complicated.
I am going into my 54th year of existence. Such a stark and kind of bleak statement to make. In this 54th trip around the sun, I bring the wisdom and knowledge that I have gained. Is it helpful? That remains to be seen.
All I can do is be true to myself, and my ideals, and be as kind as possible. That is all we can do.
As the final days of the previous year were winding down, I came to the realization that it had been a long time since I wrote out a goal or aspiration list. I used to do this regularly until I retired from my military career.
Until then, I had accomplished everything and did not plan for the next chapter.
Then life happened.
I retired and lost a sense of who I was. I had let my personality become so wrapped up in my career, being a mom, and being married that I lost a part of myself along the way. I did not think retirement would profoundly impact how I viewed myself, but it did. I was slowly unraveling.
I ended my 17-year marriage. This was a part of the unraveling but it was for the best. The relationship was no longer there and it had become abusive. The depression and anxiety had built up over decades until I broke. It has been over ten years of therapy to recover.
I became a single parent. After the divorce, just a little over a year later, my ex-husband died. I had to learn how to become a different parent. My kids are now grown and living their lives. We survived and they continue to work through their thoughts, feelings, and trauma from that event. They are still thriving.
I became physically disabled and unemployed. A few years post-divorce I was injured and required surgery. The surgery went as planned but the recovery did not. I spent four years in recovery and working through the bureaucratic system to gain a steady income. That finally happened at the beginning of last year. The acceptance of my physical limitations took its toll. Thankfully, I was still in therapy and it has helped immensely. I am in a much better position now than in 2020.
All of these thoughts and ruminations about the past 11 years are when I came to the realization that I need to go back to making those goals and aspirations lists again.
These are what I wrote this past week.
They are somewhat specific but can be broken down into smaller tasks to make them easier to accomplish. That is my next step in this process, breaking it down into smaller tasks to potentially become habits.
Will I accomplish everything? I will give it my best try but also know that whatever is not accomplished this year will go on next year’s list.
When will I start all of this? Ideally, today should be the first day but I know myself and if I am not in the mood or right frame of mind then there will be delays. Once again, I will give it my best try.
That is the great thing about writing down a goal or aspiration list. It can provide a guideline of what you deem most important. Print it out and hang it up where you will see it every day. It can be a great motivator on those days when you may be struggling.
If you use digital calendars and planners adding them to your daily tasks or to-do lists as reminders can also be a great way to stay on track.
Once a goal is broken down, the most important thing is to make sure that it is easy and manageable. Tasks with too many moving parts can become overwhelming and easily forgotten. Simple is always the best way to go.
In my previous work life, I was always good at project management and developing processes to maintain continuity. At the base of every task, it requires simplicity, so it can easily be modified or adjusted. I adopted these same principles and began applying them to my daily life.
Take, for example, weight loss and maintaining my health. I used to get so wrapped up in counting calories, tracking my weight, and restricting my diet that it led to binge eating. That became a problem and I am still learning how to manage those thoughts and behaviors.
I no longer count calories but I stick to serving sizes. I have removed most processed, canned, and frozen foods from my diet. I have also almost eliminated both red meat and pork. I still occasionally will have a bacon cheeseburger but a turkey burger with turkey bacon will do if I am craving it.
I still have not fully moved away from cheese, my favorite, but I limit how often it is consumed. The same goes for ice cream, my next favorite dairy product, but I have found some great non-dairy alternatives. It is a give-and-take when it comes to food choices.
With all of these decisions to focus on for the upcoming year, I also know that the only person I am being held accountable to is myself. These personal goals only apply to me.
It is now towards the end of the day since I started this writing. Sleep is a priority on most days due to my insomnia, so I took a brief nap before taking my son to work. I slept for only 4 hours last night but I am feeling okay now and more awake.
The other realization that I made recently concerns time. Now that I am officially retired from working and receiving disability payments, I have a lot of time. My calendar is only filled with doctors and therapy appointments plus an occasional veterans meeting.
I attempted working for one month last year but it did not end well. The toll of driving almost a hundred miles roundtrip every day was the worst. I was both physically and mentally exhausted by the time I got home from work.
Then there was the office environment and not meshing well with others. I came charging in like I always do when it comes to doing a job and it was not well received. Oh well, I gave it my best effort. The universe decided it was enough when the transmission went out on my car at work which precipitated my being let go from the position.
Strangely enough, the HR director had told me, the day she stopped by to pick up the work laptop and phone, that I was eligible to be rehired in 6 months. I got a phone call from her 6 months later but I did not answer. Some things are better left alone.
Now, I have time. Time to fill in with my goals and aspirations. Time, after finally getting past the feeling of being a failure for not working a 40-hour-a-week job. My family, my relationship, and fellow veterans all kept telling me that I had done my job and it was time to relax, take it easy, and pursue my creativity. That is the part of me that I lost as a wife, mother, and military member. I stopped being creative.
I did not completely stop but it was not always there. It was my saving grace when I was going through the separation and divorce for which I am forever grateful. It has also been a part of my ongoing therapy.
That is the next chapter, discovering more about myself and what I can accomplish.
I do not do resolutions instead I make out goals and aspirations. I will manage my time by wearing a watch again. I stopped after I retired because I no longer needed to track activities and my time. I need to get back into that habit and mindset of focusing on the task at hand. I want to accomplish most of my goals this year, well I will try to.
Well, I have rambled on long enough, and I am sure you get the gist of this writing.
Thank you for stopping by.
Have a wonderful week and Happy New Year!
Peace, love, happiness, and good vibes, always!
Suzanne
love to bake 