Speak, the Universe Listens
6/5/2023
10:17 am
I have been unemployed for over 3 years now. I lost the supervisory and management position that took me 5 years of working part-time to obtain because of a torn rotator cuff and subsequent surgery to repair it. The surgery was “successful” according to the orthopedic surgeon but the recovery was not. I have limitations to my arm and hand now. I can no longer lift more than 5 pounds, have a tremor, and still have the same achy pain. There are days when my arm feels heavy and tired, and my right hand and fingers do not want to cooperate.
When all of that occurred, I was unprepared, but at the same time I had been struggling before that moment. I was constantly at odds with the companies that I had worked for after my military retirement. This was due to my major depressive disorder, anxiety, and life changes. I was in therapy but it was not helping with my ability to stay focused and get along with others. I lost 17 jobs from 2013 to 2020. This also caused housing issues, I had to move many times during that period as well.
All of it was just overwhelming. It caused a lot of sleepless nights, tears, introspection, and speaking out to the universe for guidance. I needed a change and a new direction, the Universe listened.
The first thing to change was the job issue. I no longer had a job and then was approved for VA Disability. It has been my only income for the last 3 years and we manage. I am no longer stressed about work issues or having to deal with others. I now focus on my therapy groups and getting mentally better.
The second thing to change was the housing situation. I had to move from the apartment I had been living in for most of the surgery recovery and pandemic. A new management group had taken over and was raising the rent but not making any changes to better that community. There were increasing issues within that apartment complex.
Those issues culminated and came to a peak shortly after we had left. A tenant in the complex was shot and killed by the police in a standoff. He had shot and killed his girlfriend when she tried to talk him down from whatever he was going through. It was a tragic situation. I was so thankful we were no longer living there.
The new apartment that I moved into had more space for the same price. It is well maintained and the management is very responsive to questions or concerns. I finally got the crafting room that I had always wanted. I have a space where I can let my creativity be free to roam. It is my own space to sit and just be. It has helped tremendously with my anxiety.
The last almost two years have been going well here but there was still some struggle with bills. This is the third thing that needed to change in my situation. The current income that I have is stretched pretty thin but it could be better.
I contacted and reapplied for the Vocational Rehabilitation program offered by the VA (Veterans Administration). They can help me find a better way to work with my limitations and possibly work part-time but I needed better skills. I was enrolled in a college program for bookkeeping and accounting. I just completed the 4th month of the 10-month program. They are also paying me a stipend for attending and I was hoping it would help with the bills.
I was also enrolled in the state Department of Rehabilitation Services program and they will be helping me to complete my actual bachelor’s degree as well as obtaining any assistive technology that I will need for the computer work. I will be starting that process after this course is completed by next spring.
I still struggled with bills, one being the high car payment. Unfortunately, last summer I had a high electricity bill due to the summer temperatures. I had to choose between making a car payment or paying for the electricity. I paid the electricity bill.
I worked it out with the car loan company and they were helpful at first. They took the payment and split it up over several months which meant the bill would be higher. That is never a good idea. I have been in those situations before and it never goes well. I had no other choice and no other funds coming in so I continued to struggle with it.
Then I started having car issues. Before that high electricity bill, I had to pay for the whole front end of the car to be replaced, brakes, bearings, and the anti-locking braking system. I was still making those loan payments for the car repair.
Then the back brakes were replaced this past fall before winter started and this caused some missed payments. I was finally getting them back on track, but then my son, whose income was making up some of our expenses, had all his hours cut for January.
This loss of income rippled over into February and into March. I had to get rental assistance or be evicted. This helped with the housing situation but the car loan balance was growing despite continuing to make the monthly payments and trying to add extra. April came and then it was new tires, the yearly car registration, and new car insurance that were needed.
The monthly payment was not making a dent in the overdue balance. I was on the phone with the loan company at least once a week. They wanted the whole balance caught up and I just did not have it but was still making the monthly payments. This was causing a lot of stress and I was struggling. I asked the Universe once again for directions to take.
This past Sunday the repo man showed up and took the vehicle. He was nice and let me get my stuff out of the car. I tried to call the loan company but the call center is not open on Sunday.
The loan company called me yesterday, Monday, to let me know what my options were to get the vehicle back, pay the past due balance in full by the 15th of the month, or the full loan payoff. That was it and nothing else.
I have been upside down on this loan and it has been this way since the resale value of the vehicle dropped. I owed more than it was worth. I told the customer service person, “Thank you for the information” and hung up.
The universe answered that question about the vehicle with the never-ending past-due balance that I have been struggling with for almost a year.
Afterward, I applied for financing at a few car dealerships online and got preapproved. I have an appointment today to test-drive vehicles. I have already spoken with the salesperson and told him about my income. I also told him what payment amount I am looking for, he said they had some programs that may work for me. We will see.
When you speak your truth out into the universe, it listens and it will answer. It may not be what you want to hear but it will always be the path to take to get you where you need to go. You just have to be willing to take that chance and listen.
I rely on my hope, faith, and belief in the goodness of the world. I always have and always will. It has carried me this far in my life and I do not see a need to change that way of thinking, not now at least.
Thank you so much for stopping by.
Have a wonderful week!
Peace, love, happiness, and good vibes, always!
Suzanne
love to bake 