April 9, 2023
This is part of a message I wrote this morning. It was in response to an overwhelmed moment of emotions I was having, I had let it get the better of me.
I took a step back, closed my eyes, took a few deep breaths, and cleared my thoughts, refocused. I changed my mind, wrote back, and continued moving on.
This is what 10 years of therapy looks like. Allowing myself to give into those high, emotional moments then focusing on what is the underlying cause, and thinking it through. Not being afraid to have those moments.
The being afraid and pushing the feelings down we’re always a trauma response to protect myself from harm by others. All it did was make me an angry person. It has been a hard road to get here, to this point.
To be able to verbalize and clearly state what I feel, to not just react in the moment. To reason through and respond. This is the person I know I am.
I remember seeing this quote: “We’re not human beings having a spiritual experience. We’re spiritual beings having a human experience.” – Pierre Teilhard de Chardin.
I believe this to be true with one caveat, as human beings we have these emotional attachments or connections. That is the part that is sometimes in conflict within our true selves or the spiritual being. Yet, there are others out there that want us to believe that we cannot be both. That we have to be one or the other.
I believe that be untrue. The spiritual being directs us to where we need to go, instinct, gut feeling, intuition, etc. While the human being is this thinking, reasoning, and logic oriented part. You have to be both otherwise you will become blind to your own reality.
That is why we believe we are in conflict with ourselves, other people, and life in general. We do not truly see or accept our flaws. We have not learned to love who we are as individuals and we do not accept or see our shortcomings. We grow up believing that showing your emotions or feelings is wrong. Yet, that is the most honest truth about ourselves. That is the most human part of us.
Self recognition of your flaws, shortcomings, and the overall awkwardness of who we are is what makes us uniquely ourselves. We cannot all fit into these perfect little categories or squares that the rest of the “world society” wants us to be in. That is just not possible, we can try but it will always cause some conflict.
As I continue to move through my day, I have to remind myself that moments of anxiety or high emotions are just that, a moment. That not everything has to mean something. Sometimes it is just a fleeting response or course correction to be made to keep me moving on my path and my own journey.
Thank you so much for stopping by.
Have a wonderful week ahead!
Peace, love, happiness, and good vibes, always!