Shortly after I retired from the military at the end of 2013, I was attending college to try to finish the last two years of my bachelor’s degree and an incident occurred between my spouse and me.
It was at that moment that I made the decision to end my 17-year marriage and be alone. I knew that the relationship we had with one another would not get any better and that it would only get worse as our children grew and finished high school.
I went out one day, applied to a bunch of different businesses, and looked for an apartment that I could afford. By the end of the next month, I was working full-time and planning my move.
I left everything behind, all the belongings we had acquired, and some of my own personal items. My soon-to-be ex-husband wanted to argue about everything including a pot and pan that he said I could not have. I let him keep everything. I left with only my clothes and some of my cake-decorating tools and supplies.
It was the best and worst decision that I ever made but one that I do not regret, even today.
It was the best because I was finally forced to face my depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts. I have been in recovery and therapy for almost 10 years now with the last incident over 6 years ago.
It was the worst because I was not financially stable, was homeless a few times, lost 17 different jobs, and had to move 6 times in that same time period. I finally became more secure just this past year. It was a lot of tears, anxiety, and hard times to get to this point.
Today, I feel okay, somewhat happy, and hopeful. I am in more of a positive mindset and looking forward to things in my life. I have finally started being creative again and enjoy things like writing.
If I can finally work through the insomnia issues that would be even better.
I have my grown kids that care about and love me. We do not always see eye to eye on things but there is mutual respect there.
I still have this ongoing online relationship which will hit a year point at the end of May and it is okay at the moment as well. I still love and care about him, he tells me the same. We are having communication issues at the moment, service, and phone problems but it is still slowly moving along, as far as I know.
I am on a journey to learn a new skill that will hopefully add to my financial stability by next Spring.
I can look back at how far I have come and it was a hard path to get here but I would do it all over again.
I do not regret making that decision to start my life over again.
Thank you so much for stopping by.
Have a fabulous week!
Peace, love, happiness, and good vibes, always!